Pretty Much All Caught Up

That's been my life the last couple of months. I've gone through some life changing, traumatizing, happy, indescribable times. All I will never forget no matter how much I try or want to. But there are some I am happy to remember.

All I can do now is keep living my life.

All through this I had my sister right next to me. She is truly one of the strongest people I know. She not only had to be strong for herself, but a lot of the times for both us.

Also, my mom...I dont know what my sister and I would have done without her. She was there for us through all of this, giving us her support, strength and most importantly her love, that we needed from her.

November 4, 2008 - Election Day

He did it!!!!! Barack Obama is our next President of The United States!!

It was a historic day, and I am glad to have been a part of it. I can proudly say that I voted for our first African American President, and I hope I can proudly say that I voted for the President that gave us the change we needed in the time we needed it most. But only time will tell that last part.

I am still ecstatic about this today!!

Trying To Get Back To Normal

Although I dont think things will ever get back to "normal" for us, I had to try to get back into my old schedule and all that. I was gone from San Diego altogether for almost a month. It's been rough, I have my days where I am really good, and then I have my days where i am really down. I guess that just the way its gonna be.

One thing I was really looking forward to was the upcoming election on November 4th. We needed Obama to get the win!!

October 1, 2008 - Meeting My Little Brother

Long story short...At my dad's viewing, my sister and I met our 10 year old brother Diego Rene Rodriguez for the first time ever. He was my dad's son. Talk about overwhelming! This was the ONLY good thing that came from that trip to Texas that week.

It's an indescribable feeling to meet a sibling...after so long. But I am so happy that we did. And so happy to be a big sister to him. Not only did we meet him at my dad's viewing with my dad's body 20 feet away, we met him in front of everyone. Which at the time I didnt even notice anyone else around but me, my sister, and my little brother.

I wish I would have met him sooner, or maybe under different circumstances, but nonetheless, I am so thrilled to have finally met him.

September 28, 2008

After a week of talking to my dad on the phone everyday after returning to San Diego. On Sunday morning at 11am my dad passed away.

I can remember exactly where I was, and what I was doing when I found out. After that...most everything was a blur.

Later that day I was on a plane going to San Jose to get to my Mom and my Sister...and my babies. We had to figure out what to do from there, and the next morning me, my mom and my sister were on a plane to Texas.

I don't know what week was worse, the one when he was in the hospital, or the week of his death. I will just say that both are the worst weeks in my whole entire life.

Lot's and lot's of bad things happened the week of my dad's passing, I think about it everyday, but all I know is that my dad is now put to rest, and that's all that matters to me.

The second chance I was supposed to have with my dad never came.

My dad was a great man, and I have so many good memories of him, and that is all I want to remember is the good things. I think about him everyday all day. I miss him and I know I will never stop missing him. I know he is looking down on the world and watching over all the people he cared for. One thing I am grateful for after all this is that the last words that I said to my dad, and that my dad said to me was I love you.

September 15 - 19 - Dad In The Hospital

My sister Vita and I arrived in Texas on Monday. She flew out of San Jose, and I flew out San Diego, and then we met up in Pheonix, Arizona and from there we flew to Austin together.

Like always, Nina Irene was right there when we needed her. She picked us up from the airport and took us to the hospital.

I didnt get to see my dad right away, because they had only certain hours as visiting hours. But my sister got to see him a little while after we got there, and she didn't even want me to see him. He was that bad. She warned me that when I saw him, it would be bad. It was. I don't wish it on anyone to see their parents like my sister and I had to see my dad. I wont get into detail on how he looked or anything like that, but it's something I will never forget. I had never seen anyone in that state before. It was just too bad that it had to be my own dad.

That week was awful, and was at that moment and time the worst week I had ever had in my life. It was a week of seeing my dad going through this struggle to stay alive, a week of no sleep, sitting on hospital chairs and floors, a week of not being able to shower everyday, a week of not eating much, just an awful awful week.

But at the end of the week, by Thursday, my dad started to look and feel better. It was so great. He seemed to be back to normal (as normal as he can given the circumstances). He was making a turn for the better and it was noticeable. When Friday came around, it was time for Vita and I to leave. Leaving was one of the hardest things we had to do, but given that it looked like he was doing better, it wasnt as bad as it could have been. We all (my sister, myself and my dad) said what we had to say to eachother, and talked about what we had to talk about, and were in a good place with eachother. All we had to do was wait for my dad to get better so we can have a second chance having a relationship with him. It was time for us to go to the airport, so we said our final goodbye to our dad with a hug, kiss and an I love you. Little did my sister and I know that, that would be the last time we would see our father alive again...

**I do want to thank Nina Irene for being there that week WHENEVER we needed her. She offered anything she can do for us and give us. When she said anything, anytime, she meant it. I will always be indebted to her for that.

**Also, my Tia Olivia. We only saw here once, but the day that she was there for us, was the day that we needed someone the most. I think that at that point we needed our Mom, and she was the closest thing to her at that moment. She was there just for us, and she gave us a shoulder to cry on, and I can't express how much I appreciated just that one visit from her.

September 14, 2008

I left Oxnard in the morning. It only takes 3 hours at the most to get to San Diego, which is not too bad considering Im used to the 7 hour drive to Greenfield. I was trying to get everything I needed for my sudden trip to Texas, and my other best friend Sharah was with me and nice enough to drive my car for me, because 1. I was a little upset from the news I received of my dad, and 2. I didn't want to drive anymore cuz I had just drove from Oxnard. So we were on our way home, and......we got rear ended!!! I was so mad!! Were were completely stopped...not our fault at all. I think I said every bad word in the book at the moment. It was just like icing on the cake for me. I was worrying about my dad, worrying about what I needed to pack, worrying about everything else, and then this happened. It wasnt THAT bad, but it did crack my bumper. It was some lady that was just not paying attention. I had to put that problem on hold until I got back from Texas. So I did....

September 9 - 13, 2008 - Baby Leah

During this week, I was in Oxnard with my best friend Laura. She was due to have her baby girl on Septmeber 11th. We did all the home remedies to induce her labor like having her eat spicy food, walking up and down stairs. On the day she was due we went to the beach and walked for a long time. That might have helped a little, because as soon as we got home she started feeling cramping and little signs of labor. She made it through the night. She had a doctor's appointment the morning of the 12th and when she was getting examined, her water broke, and she was sent to labor and delivery. She had long labor, and in the end, she ended up having to have a C-Section. At 5:15 am on Saturday September 13th, Leah Victoria Bermudez was born. She was exactly 10 pounds and 21 inches. She was a big girl!! Both Laura and the baby were just fine after the birth. That was such a happy day for all of us.

I was going to stay there in Oxnard until Monday, but I received some news from Texas that night. My dad was in the hospital, and apparently he was really bad. So that happy day turned into a not so happy night. My plans changed and I was going to get a flight to Texas on Monday first thing in the morning, so I had to get back to San Diego by Sunday.

I'm Back!

Well kind of!  I finally remembered about my blog that I tried so hard to keep up with.

It's been like almost 3 months.  And wow, what a 3 months it has been for me.  Calling it life changing would be mild.  There are no words to describe what I have been through in the months of September and October and even this month (November).  They are months that for some reasons, I want to be happy, and I was at those moments, but they will forever be the worst months in my whole entire life.

It's late, and if I get started on some of the events that have happened to me since I have been absent from my blog, I will never get to sleep.  It's also Friday tomorrow, well it technically is Friday already, and I have a busy weekend ahead of me, so I probably wont be able to get to it this weekend either, but Im sure I can start at the beginning of next week.  I want to get back on track with this.

Till then....